Now with a little less blood...

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I've been having weird health concerns, as I stated in my last post. I made my way to a clinic yesterday. The Dr. said my symptoms were a bit of a mystery, but required further 'investigation.'

So, I had blood taken yesterday, and with my stomach already slightly on puke-alert 24/7, I wasn't sure I was going to make it. I had about the same amount of blood drawn about a year and a bit ago and I was surprised by how little it hurt or effected me! This time, however, I felt like I had been totally drained, felt like my whole arm deflated. I hearkened back to Twilight.

In two weeks I have an ultrasound and x-ray. I've had more blood taken, and ultra sounds than a pregnant woman lately! OK, maybe that's an exaggeration, but I feel like the last two years have brought about quite a few medical mysteries.

The worst part about this whole thing is I have to start eliminating things from my diet. First to go is beer and Advil. I know for myself that I need to cut back on certain foods... I actually am not sure what I can eat that won't make me sick. I hope they find out something soon and I can go back to my normal mode of living - beers on Saturday, McDonald's on Friday, coffee in the morning. I feel slightly like a 45 year old with high cholesterol. I'm 26, I'm too young for this!

I will be happy when I no longer have searing stomach pain, and heart-attack-like chest pain... not to mention the vomiting! I suppose my health is worth the beer sacrifice...


Saturday, March 20, 2010

I throw up.

A lot.

Not in a bulemic way, but in a scary, "why do I throw up all the time? I'm not pregnant... I'm pretty sure..." way.

I just threw up. Now my mascara is running.

My molly fish has vanished, and I feel like a terrible person for it...

Two Nights, Two Dresses, One Bra.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I received my vintage 1970's lingerie pattern in the mail finally last Friday. Last night I got a chance to test out the pattern, and make a few tweeks. It's a little pointy, but that's how it's supposed to be, and I kind of like it like that.

I now have a complete three piece set - the panties, camisole, and bra. I find this one, which has no stretch to it, a little tight on me. I'm going to make one in a jersey tonight, if I have time.

I did this as a bit of a test, so I used old bra fastenings and straps that I cut off an old bra (I have a lot of old bra's just laying around). I kind of like the idea of recycling old hardware.

This week is going painfully slow. I'm getting more and more anxious to get up and go. The more I think about it, the more I realize I'm not getting any further ahead in my life by staying here. While I'm afraid of being out of work and struggling or being a burden on Dan or my family, I feel like it I'd basically be in the same position as I am now; I rely on them for quite a bit because my expenses in the city are so high. So... In order to make myself feel better, I'm going to play a game: "See how little you can spend!"

I know it sounds pretty boring... and down right awful, but if I'm going to be out of work, I want to have a bit of a nest egg set aside. So, on the menu for the next few weeks is dollar store pasta, microwave cake, and canned fruit. Mmm mmm... Let's see how I do!

So, I've cut my cable, cut my going out expenses, stopped buying lunch, am going to sew my spring and summer wardrobe out of clearance only fabric (!), and will dollar store grocery shop. I feel like I'm back in college. But... my frugality will be worth it (I hope).

Head Tilt?

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I caught Oliver in a near perfect head tilt last night.

I finished sewing a little dress, which I should be getting into instead of doing this right now... but I don't have my priorities straight.

This dress was a nightmare, by the end I had ripped out the zipper three times, never got the fit quite right, and burned a hole in the back with my iron. Oh well, some dresses just weren't meant to be.

I'm still going to wear it though; I'm going to wear it out of spite.

Really Good Weekend...

Sunday, March 14, 2010

I finally took some pictures of my 3 month old Fish Tank. I just put a Chinese Algae Eater in, which you can kind of see in the corner. My guppy babies are finally starting to get some colour, which I'm excited about. They have black and yellow spotted tails!

I had one of the best weekends this weekend. Dan (who is still here) and I went out with my mom on Saturday, then to my parents for dinner, where we scouted out potential houses in the newspaper. Last night we stayed up and worked on thumbnails for banners, and re-decorated his guppy tank. This morning, we wandered downtown Orillia, then headed back here, where I actually managed to get some sewing done, and Dan worked on a business card layout for me! It is so handy having a mechanic who knows graphic design for a boyfriend!

While in Orillia, I picked up this heart print jersey. I remembered to grab the pedal for my mom's amazing Pfaff and whipped up these; gathered-derriere panties.

The thing I love most about this sewing machine, besides the amazing stretch-stitches it does, is the embroidery stitches! Now I REALLY don't want to go to work... I've got new stitches to try out!

So Few Photos...

Friday, March 12, 2010

I haven't finished anything lately.

I borrowed my mom's sewing machine, but forgot the pedal. Mine is going all wonky when I try to zigzag stitch.

I decided to set up my old machine anyway and sew a dress... I did everything wrong, sewed the bottom of the skirt to the zipper (which needs to be ripped out completely), screwed up on the lining of the midriff band... made the straps way too long... the fit is awful... I don't think anything went right. It can be fixed, but I invested my entire night into this monstrosity.

My week at work as been particularly horrendous, aside from a brief outing to Kravet to see a new Ralph Lauren Program. My co-worker is on vacation so I am doing a little of her job, plus my job (which I already can't handle). I went to my second interview at a competitor who tells me I will in the least, make the same as I'm making there, likely more based on their commission structure, to just to do sales... not book appointments, and do deposits, deal with everyone's customer complaints, and, and, and... Despite that, I'm not sure I'm really that interested in the job.

I feel like I work, work, work all day, come home, write resumes, cut patterns, draft patterns, try to sew things that just screw up... I eat Campbell's soup every day and still have no money! I feel like I'm doing all these things to no end... I hope this feeling fades, because it's really getting me down.

I am impatient.

On a good note, one of my loveliest friends came over on Thursday and did my hair. I'm blond, blond, blond again, and THAT at least feels good... a girl's gotta have something.


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Last night started out as a great night. I cut out a size run in a gingham and floral cotton pantie (and an extra gingham pair for me!). I read a chapter of The Smart Cookies Guide to Making More Dough and Getting Out of Debt, and felt even more motivated to save for that down payment! I read a chapter of Three Day Road. I listened to the classical radio and felt really great about cancelling my VIP cable package and going down to bare basics (did you know if you tell them you can't afford it they'll automatically knock off 20% and remove any other fee's? I went from spending nearly $70 a month on cable to $28).

I feel great that I've made some pretty big financial changes in order to reach a bigger goal. I'm excited about it, and I'm excited about my life. I cut out my morning coffee and muffin, I cut out most of my cable, I cut out lunches out at work, I'm cutting back on my going out expenses. Now I feel like I should be seeing the money rolling in... I guess that takes a while!

Last night reminded me why I really want to do this. I was almost asleep when I hear "JESUS CHRIST F#^$ F^%# JESUS F@#$ S&*% F$*&!!!!" Then crazy, insane crying. I've heard the crying many times, but the swearing is pretty new. Now the thing that really scared me, as I lay alone in my bed last night, is that it sounded like it was coming from outside my front door. Either way, my neighbour is insane and scary and I need to move.

It's only Thursday.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

I come precariously close to walking away from my job sometimes, and never, ever coming back.

The crazy dreams have returned!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I had nightmares all night last night.

I should explain my nightmares to people who may not be familiar with me. My nightmares usually involve doors being closed on me, or some other totally not scary event, then me waking up screaming.

My nightmare last night was a little different. Dan and I decided to have people over to my Aunt's old house (bad idea). Everyone decided to go out, but I as usual wanted to stay home. So they leave, and eventually come back, but without Dan. I ask about it, but get round about answers, and decide to go out and look for him myself.

I head out to the subway and start my search. I go shopping (thought the mall is probably the last place I'd ever find my boyfriend) and discover that Benefit Cosmetics now carries hair colour! Score!

At this point I figure I've exhausted my search and go back to my parent's house where a sudden burst of rage makes me head over to the china cabinet and start smashing all of my tea cups and nickknacks. I grab a porcelain Peter Rabbit and hurl it to the floor. The second I hear a crash, I'm filled with remorse. I pick up the pieces and try to put it back together again, regretting my anger.

Then... some time passes.

I am laying on my bed and I have finishing nails, a hammer and empty picture frames. I place one nail, point down, towards the bottom of my breast, hammer the nail in, then hang the frame.

My dream quickly turned into a bad student art film. I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep again. These are the kind of dreams that bug me all day...

In other news, I started readying Joseph Boyden's Three Day Road. I've picked this book up three times and couldn't get into it. I was tired of murder mysteries last night, so grabbed this one again and couldn't put it down.

The End... off to work.


Monday, March 1, 2010

I stayed home with a headache and upset stomach today... I am feeling better, just wiped out which is funny because I slept for nearly 12 hours straight.

When I woke up I worked a little more on my get to Orillia plan, then finished this ruffled set. The panties are actually shown from the back. I think that I've decided that I don't like it very much. But that might be my bad mood talking.

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