Well... after months of debating, I took the leap. I gave my notice today at work. We are actively searching for my replacement. I'll stick around to train them, then stick around on an occasional basis for a month or so, then cut my ties.
The moment after I gave my notice, I breathed a huge sigh of relief, like a ton of bricks had been lifted off my shoulders... I had a little day dream of what it will be like the first day I wake up and don't have to go to a second job. The freedom to grow my little business! To do all of those things I've wanted to do for so long... release another pattern, work on some ready-made items, approach stores about carrying my line, reach out to stylists and photographers, have a turn around time that's under 8 weeks... Oh, it's all so exciting!
And then the fear it. When I was in college I was really broke... like really broke. It was stressful and scary and horrible. I had a momentary flashback to subsisting off of Dollar-Store pre-packaged noodles & sauce, of that scary little cockroach infested apartment I lived in, and I thought "I never want to be that broke again." I had that ominous "oh god, what have I done" feeling, realizing that after six years of steady pay-checks, I'm really wadding into uncertain territory. Now, I've got a second income to rely on (my Danny), savings, and my own business income, it's still pretty scary.
I'm not sure what it was that made me suddenly decide to take the leap. I thought about it all weekend, ran it by family, talked it over with Dan... and I just couldn't decide. I knew some things for certain though. First, I am exhausted, stressed and grumpy and I dread going to work everyday because I just want to stay home and work. Second, I've had some on-going frustrations with my day-job. Third, I knew if I didn't do it soon, it would just get harder. And last, the straw that broke the camels back, Dan asked "What would your Grandma tell you to do?" Oh Gram... my wise old Gram...how I miss her, her entrepreneurial spirit, her wit, her sense humour, her wildly independence spirit. Here's what she'd say, "Even if it doesn't work out, at least you know you've tried." And then she'd give me a big, soft, grandma-hug.
I have to admit, I am considering applying at a local craft shop that is opening in my town soon, just for a few hours a week. It's nice to have a reliable income and some extra money over the holidays. I'm going to be pinching my pennies over the next few weeks, and hoping & praying that all goes well with my new venture! Sincerely, Thank You so much to everyone who has offered me words of encouragement and advice. It has really meant a lot to me.
I'm excited about this new step.
And, if it doesn't work out, at least I know I've tried.